onSchedule

Reflections

Home  /  Uncategorized   /  Death and Grief

Death and Grief

So many cultures and religions have different beliefs when it comes to death. Yet, I do believe that there is one common thread that runs through us all and that is the grief that those of us who are left here on earth experience. I have heard some refer to grief as selfish because you should celebrate that our loved one has moved on and be happy that they are no longer in pain. That sounds good but what about those who are taken from us by accident at a young age who were living life free of pain and completely healthy? There are those who go to bed and never wake up, what about them? Yes, their deaths were fast and easier on them but much harder on the loved ones left behind.

I write this knowing first hand losing loved ones in all kinds of ways. I lost two brothers the first about 29 years ago at the age of 41 and the second 16 years ago at the age of 51, a brother-in-law also 16 years ago at the age of 51, it was only a months’ time between the death of my brother-in-law and my brother. They all died quickly and unexpected. I lost my two cousins in a quick unexpected way in a span of 14 months and they were 52 and 19. I lost grandparents, my parents and aunts and uncles in the more expected way and at a more acceptable age. Yet, the grief is real for all. Being strong in my faith and being raised as Catholic, I was taught to celebrate the life and believe that we will all be reunited again. I do still believe this to be true. Those beliefs do not remove the human grief.

Grief has many ways of appearing and changes and is different for each and everyone of us. I do not believe grief every goes away completely it softens as time goes on and we learn to live without the human form of our loved ones. My father left this life 10 years ago and my mother left 8 years ago, and I still want to pick up the phone and talk to them. So, I do talk to them, to their spirit and feel them around me. I know that they are watching over me. Same thing with the rest of my family that has left this life. I do still grieve but I find comfort in knowing that the connection, love and energy still is alive within me.

I have been blessed to have been raised with an understanding about death and I know that not everyone has. Many people struggle and can’t find their way out of the heavy burden of their loss. There are so many aspects to why a person deals with death the way they do. Some may come from a place of guilt. That guilt can range from feelings of responsibility or maybe the last conversation was one of anger. Whatever it is that is burdening you about a loved one can be healed to a place of livable understanding. If you are struggling, you do not need to. You should not go it alone. Please seek professional help. You can contact me for a free consultation or find a grief counselor that you feel most comfortable with. I urge you to talk to someone because you can dig yourself into a true deep depression.

There is one thing I know for sure, we are all on this earth for a short amount of time and that death is as much a part of life as breathing. So, it is best that an understanding and acceptance of death becomes a part of your consciousness. Death isn’t to be feared, after all it is everybody’s ending of life here as we know it.

Peace & love,

Mary

Leave a comment